Vulnerability is the New Core Competency for Leaders
Vulnerability is one of my favourite words - I can’t share enough about it. Brene Brown has spoken at length about the power of vulnerability, specifically that “vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences”.
Whether you are a leader, a board member, or in your first professional role at an organization, in your business world or your personal world, human experiences happen all around us, all day. It’s within your power – your scope – to decide how you want to show up in those experiences.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about vulnerability. It’s a space I have actively stepped into in terms of my own personal and professional learning, my hidden disability and my neurodivergency. Has this felt risky sometimes? 100%. Have I had to make a decision on how safe a conversation is to share my vulnerability, or not? Absolutely. Have I seen the positive results when I do share? Yes, I have. My take on vulnerability:
by showing others my vulnerability, I may make space for others to see it’s a safe space for them to be vulnerable, too;
by being vulnerable, I’m creating space to build deeper relationships with people around me;
by sharing that I have a hidden disability, I’m sharing a part of myself that I want someone to know – being vulnerable allows me to show up as my true self.
Vulnerability also comes up in my coaching conversations with clients, and often as a barrier between how they’re showing up now and how they actually want to show up. That barrier is often related to a fear. How they’re showing up now sometimes sounds like: wanting to be seen as a strong leader; being a subject matter expert and someone that has all the answers; wanting to be the person that can run the whole show, all the time, every day.
However, in most cases, these stand in the way of folks showing up from an authentic perspective. Why? Because we all know that as humans, we make mistakes. We don’t have all the answers, all the time. We often need experiences and support from others. And – all of this is ok, but fear gets in the way. We’re afraid we’ll look weak if we don’t don’t have all the information that our team needs. We’re leading a project but afraid of asking a question because we think we’re already supposed to know it all. We’re afraid of taking a sick day or personal time because we think there is an expectation that strong, dedicated leaders don’t take time to rest.
At this point, I want to share something that you may or may not agree with – and as a strong supporter of diversity of thought, I’d love to hear from you either way: vulnerability is the new core competency of leaders.
Vulnerability allows us to show up as human. It builds a space of trust. It contributes to psychological safety. It shows folks around us that we are learning, are comfortable with not knowing it all, and contributes to collaborative conversations and learning with others. People, especially employees, are looking for this in today’s workplaces. They want to connect - they want to know you may have some of the same questions and fears that they do.
If you find yourself in a workplace that doesn’t offer the space to show up with vulnerability - perhaps because it’s not part of the culture - that isn’t necessarily a bad thing (remember what I said earlier: you have the power to decide how you want to show up). However, the question I would ask you is: does that culture align with your values?
Summary:
It’s within your power – your scope – to decide how you want to show up in any experiences. If you’re feeling a misalignment, this is a great opportunity to have a conversation with a coach.
What does showing up with vulnerability look like for you? Being vulnerable allows us to create stronger relationship with folks around us. It can also bring some fears. Spend time how you want to step into this space so that it aligns with your values.
How can you recognize the fears that aren’t serving you, and let them go? Self awareness work here is key. Similar to a process sometimes used in meditation, I encourage my coaching clients to recognize the specific thought, hold it for a moment to decide if it’s serving them, and if it’s not - let it go.
Coaching conversions can support bringing clarity to how you want to show up to the folks around you. If you are a leader, an employee or an organization who wants to explore vulnerability as a value, as your coach, I can be of support. Reach me here.
Gratefully,
Jacquelin